He said no net
And knew no fear
He made a misstep
And wound up here
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Toothless Nell (Alice Chambers)
Killed 1876
In a Dance Hall brawl.
Her last words:
"Circumstances led me to this end."
~~ Boot Hill Museum, ~~
Dodge City,
Kansas
|
They finally took
Our good friend Scott,
When a lightning bolt could not
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies the body
Of Arkansas Jim.
We made the mistake,
But the joke's on him.
~~ Culver City ~~
|
Attention grave robbers,
thieves and vandals
Say your prayers
and light some candles!
These grounds are protected
by an old Gypsy curse.
And just when you're thinking
things couldn't get worse...
Our video surveillance
should give you chill.
Because if one doesn't catch you
The other one will!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Mary Lefavour
Died 1797
Aged 74 years
Reader pass on
And ne'er waste your time
On bad biography
And bitter rhyme.
For what I am
This cumb'rous clay insures,
And what I was,
Is no affair of yours.
~~ Topsfield, ~~
Massachusetts
|
Ruth and Johnny,
Side by side,
Went out for an auto ride
They hit a bump -
Ruth hit a tree
And John kept going
Ruthlessly.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Rab McBeth
Who died for the want
of another breath.
1791-1823
~~ Larne, Ireland ~~
On a hanged
Sheep stealer.
|
She was a suicide blonde
Dyed by her own hand.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Life is a jest,
And all things show it -
I thought so once
And now I know it!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies the body of
Thomas Kemp.
Who lived by wool
and died by hemp.
~~ Bletchley, ~~
Bucks,
England
|
This stone was raised
By Sara's Lord
Not Sara's virtues to record
For they are known
To all the town.
This stone was raised
To keep her down.
~~ Kilmurry~~
Churchyard,
Ireland
|
Here lies the body
Of Margaret Bent
She kicked up her heels
And away she went.
~~ Winterborn Steepleton ~~
Cemetery,
Dorsetshire, England
|
Open, open wide
Ye golden gates
That lead to
The heavenly shore,
Our father suffered
In passing through
And Mother weighs
Much more
~~ Unknown ~~
|
He got a fish-bone
In his throat
And then he sang
An angel note.
~~ Schenectady, ~~
New York
|
She was not smart,
She was not fair,
But hearts with grief
For her are swellin';
All empty stands
Her little chair:
She died of
Eatin' water-mellon.
~~ New Jersey ~~
Ccemetery
|
At rest beneath
This slab of stone
Lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt
He died one morning
Just at ten,
And saved a dinner by it
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Rebecca Freeland
1741
She drank good ale,
Good punch and wine
And lived to the age of 99.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Stop, reader, pray
And read my gate
What caused my
Life to terminate
For thieves by night
When in my bed
Broke in my house
And shot me dead.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
1690
Here lie the bones
Of Joseph Jones
Who ate while he was able.
But once overfed,
He dropt down dead
And fell beneath the table.
When from the tomb,
To meet his doom,
He arises amidst sinners.
Since he must dwell
In heaven or hell,
Take him - whichever gives
The best dinners.
~~ Falkirk, ~~
England
|
Don't attempt to
Climb up in a tree
That's what caused
The death of me!
~~ Unknown ~~
|
'Gone fishing',
The sign said
That hung
Upon the door.
An Angel had put it there
God was waiting
On the shore.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies Johnny Cole.
Who died upon my soul
After eating a plentiful dinner.
While chewing his crust
He was turned into dust
With his crimes undigested - poor sinner.
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Robert Phillip, gravedigger:
Here I lie at the Chancel door;
Here lie I because I am poor;
The farther in the more you pay;
Here I lie as warm as they.
~~ Grave Digger's ~~
Tombstone
Kingsbridge,
England
|
Heave a sigh
For old John Doak
He didn't know
His brakes were broke
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Here lies
Granny Beth Sue
Choked to death
On Redman Chew
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Hooray my brave boys
Lets rejoice at his fall.
For if he had lived
He would have buried us all.
~~ Grave Digger's Tombstone ~~
|
Here lies cut down
Like unripe fruit,
The wife of
Deacon Amos Shute:
She died of drinking
Too much coffee,
Anny Dominy --
Eighteen-forty.
~~ Enosburg Falls, ~~
Vermont
|
He lived
And died
By suicide
~~ Coroner's Tombstone ~~
West Grimstead,
Sussex,
England
|
Buried here
Beneath this clay
Lies gardener
John Arbothnaut Jay
Now in his simpeternal home
A constant source
Of high-grade loam
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Planted here
Beneath sod,
At peaceful rest
Lies brother Claude
~~ Unknown ~~
|
Gone Underground For Good
~~ Coal Miner's Tombstone ~~
|
